confused no longer
by Richzetsu
Summary: Ichigo realizes he is not straight, he realizes he likes Renji, but will he like him back? first yaoi lemon, cut me slack please! rather ooc. m for a reason!


Hi everybody! Well… yea, this is my first Bleach fic so yay! Omg… the electricity in my house just died… then came back on… good thing I'm on a laptop! Sigh, I have a super bad sunburn, I'm in agony! Oh well… so, this is gonna be yaoi so ye have been warned! Uh… this is ichigoxrenji and um… yea so this is my first yaoi ever so bear with me. No really, there is a bear with me. Jk, but that would be cool. Sigh. Just read.

Ichigo first person.

Oh yea, please R&R!

It had been a long day of training at the training grounds, and to me nothing felt better then my shower. I had been staying here with Renji at the 6th division barracks for like a week now, catching up on some much needed training. I had been sparring for hours today. Admittedly, I was exhausted. So that's why I'm in Renji's bathroom with steaming water pouring over me.

I liked showers for reasons other than the obvious. It was a place I could think without being disturbed. I lathered on some soap and scrubbed away the sweat, blood and grime from a long day. I washed my hair, releasing it from the evil grasps of hair oils. I then just stood under the water letting now my troubles washing away. I allowed my thoughts to run free. I thought about if I should train or no tomorrow and if all the sparring was worth it since the war was over. I sighed. Too much to think about, not enough hot water. I was also thinking about my sexuality. Lately, I realized I had no interest in relationships with girls. And the idea of sex with them kinda grossed me out… it was when I realized that, that I realized I might be gay. I even had a little crush on Renji! The water started to no longer be warm. I realized that I had used up the hot water. I sighed, turning off the water and stepped out of the stall. Drying off completely and trudging into the room I shared with Renji. I was SOOOO tired. Too tired to even put my clothes on, but it was late and the only person who would be coming it would be Renji. It wasn't like I had never seen him naked before and vice versa. When you have been going to bath houses since you were little, you got used to seeing other guys _exposed_. So I simply plopped face down on the bed we shared stark naked.

I may or may not have fallen asleep between when I took my shower and when Renji came in. I didn't really care though. I noticed him walking out of the bathroom; his hair was still damp from showering.

"Yo Ichigo. Going natural tonight huh? What the heck, I will too," Renji said laying down next to me.

I flipped over and put my hands behind my head. "Hi Renji" I said. I could look at him forever, he was simply drop-dead-gorgeous. Too bad he would never go for a guy like me, that is if he was gay too. "Where were you at, getting here so late?" I asked. "With one of those 4th division girls?" I wanted to find out, if he was strait or not.

"Uh… no," was his reply. "I really like any of them, to… uh… smart?"

"Oh," I said, "Do you even like any of the girls here?" I asked, prying deep for info.

"Not really, I'm not into any of them really-" I stopped listening after that. Could he be gay like me, and like me back? I hoped… I stared deep into his eyes, drinking in his beauty, as he talked. "-because, actually, I think I might be gay- Ichigo… why are you getting hard?"

Oh… wait a second! Did he just say he was gay? Well, then I might not have to make excuses. "Because you are so beautiful" I said. "And I like you as more than just a friend," I was careful with my words.

His eyes widened. "Ichigo… do you really mean that, because… I uh… feel the same way,"

Dream. Come. True.

He grabbed me and kissed me. His lips so soft and sweet. I was surprised at first, but I kissed him back a second later. His tongue met mine while trying to get further inside my mouth. He licked my tongue and I licked back. He broke the kiss after that. It was… amazing.

"Ichigo," he said, "I love you, and I want to love every part of you,"

His confession made me jump on the inside, he really meant it. "And I want you to" I said. I wanted to have him inside me.

We kissed again and he grabbed my penis, jacking it a few times, enough to make me moan. "Ichigo" he said. "I have done this before, and I can make this a painless as possible, just do what I say."

I nodded, trusting him. He put three of his fingers in-front of my mouth and said "Suck" I opened and let my saliva cover his fingers, liking them, loving them. "Now, just relax," he said while slowly pushing a finger into my entrance.

To say the least, it hurt. But not a lot. It was when I added a finger and started going in and out that it hurt, then he put a third in. After a while, it started feeling good "Ah- Renji-" I breathed out. I wanted more.

"Ichigo, are you sure you want me to do this? I'm not gonna lie, I will hurt at the beginning," he said.

"Yes Renji, I want this more than anything."

He nodded. He took his cock, a very large and thick cock mind you, and positioned it at my hole. Ever so slowly he pushed in, making me moan with pleasure, and wince with pain. He went it as far as he could go and pulled out almost all the way. He repeated the process with slowly gaining speed. It felt amazing.

"Ah, Ichigo, you are so tight!" he said as he went faster. I couldn't reply, I was too high in ecstasy to speak in any form other then raspy moans. He was pounding my ass so hard, it was so good. Just when I felt like I couldn't hold out any longer, he hid a long left alone spot deep inside my making me cum so hard, my seed almost hit the ceiling. Soon after, I felt a hot liquid shoot into me, knowing it was Renji's seed. He pulled out of me, a mixture of semen and a small amount of blood drained out of me. He kissed me right as I dosed off and I fell asleep in his, no, my lover's arms.

A/N : Well, that's that. I can continue if people want me to. Please tell me how I did on my first yaoi lemon! Thanks!


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